Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
