We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We talked him into tasing himself.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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