and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
