Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
wakey wakey hands off snakey
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
