Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
