so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
