the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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