I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
