just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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