sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My life is pants optional.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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