brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
