Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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