I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
