When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My vagina just recognized that song.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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