Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
