Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
