Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
