my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
