I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
