So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
