Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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