The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
