Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
