to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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