All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
