My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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