Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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