you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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