she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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