Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
