You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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