Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
