i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
