I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
