we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
