another moral hangover. fuck.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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