I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
