Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
