Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
