so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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