I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
