Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
