Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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