i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Shame is for Republicans.
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