You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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