So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
