I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
