There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
