it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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