My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
