I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
