She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
